Why can't you write/speak proper?

People in the corporate world seem to love making themselves sound important. Often they do this by dropping names, inserting large (often inappropriate) words into their sentences, or just behaving like a knob. Alas, they also seem to do this by making up new, ludicrous, but pseudo-important-sounding phrases. If you’ve ever been in a corporate meeting or presentation and played the old game of “Bullshit Bingo”, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

The current phrase-of-the-day that seems to be making the rounds of the corporate world these days makes me cringe and scream every time I hear it. One of these days I’m just going to be forced to punch someone out.

“Going forward” (aka “Moving forward”)

Here’s an example: “This will be a critical strategy going forward.”

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!

One – it means NOTHING!

Two – it adds NOTHING!

Three – 99 times out of 100 it is TOTALLY REDUNDANT!!

That sentence above would have had just as much impact and meant just as much either without the extra wordage, or with something as simple and far more meaningful as “for our future”. Alas, I’m hearing it several times a day lately, and I fear any reaction on my part now will risk the ongoing viability of my employment.

So please help me: If you hear this phrase, if you are witness to it in a meeting or presentation, then COUGH LOUDLY, or SNEEZE LOUDLY, and under that distracting sound mutter “BINGO!” Hopefully, together, we will eradicate this latest lunacy from our language!

If we’re going to improve the standard of spoken english, especially in Australia, then possibly the first place to start is with that vernacular affectionately referred to as ‘bogan’. In my opinion, it’s just plain lazy. Here are two classic examples.

“I seen him coming.”

“I knew that when I come here.”

Strange. Unnecessary. Lazy. These are so easy to fix, and there is no excuse. Pity no one conjugates in school anymore, as that simple exercise would probably solve this growing problem.

The correct phrases are easy, and anyone with an ounce of understanding of the language can see the errors a mile away.

The first one should be “saw” – “I saw him coming.” Say it bogans. Now say it again.

And for the second one, the correct past tense is “came” – “when I came here”.

Kill the bogans, and revive the language people.